Pregnancy Parts 4 & 5

Hearing the Heartbeat

It’s pretty amazing when you first hear your baby’s heartbeat. I mistook my own for the baby’s at first when the midwife put the thingy (correct technical term) on me and thought, “oh that sounds pretty normal.” Then within seconds I heard another super speedy heartbeat and the midwife told me it was that one that was the baby’s. It was so so so fast, loud, clear and strong. Each time I had a medical check, I felt more relief and relaxed that everything was okay. I've heard a few scary stories though. When my sister Moley went in to the docs to hear her baby's heartbeat, they couldn't find it with the equipment they were using. She got really upset, obviously, only for the midwife to then realise, "oh, the batteries are flat."

The Second Scan – Boy or Girl???

The midwife had told me that by Christmas and the date of my second scan (29th December 2010) I would no longer be able to hide the fact I was pregnant. She was  right really. My tummy was now properly jutting out below my boobs in that typical pregnant way. We again went to the John Radcliffe Hospital for the scan. I can’t remember much about the other people in the waiting room this time as I was so desperate for the loo! We were called in by a much friendlier sonographer than last time. The image of the baby quickly came up but it was moving around loads! The sonographer said she was struggling to get the measurements and good pictures as the baby was such a fidget. I was only two weeks since I’d first felt the baby move…that was on my Mum’s Birthday – December 16^th. I didn’t know for sure at first it was the baby moving but when I described it to other mums, I realised it was. It felt kind of like bubbles in my tummy. Almost as if someone was moving one of the those bubble bottle spatulers through me. It was faint and not at all uncomfortable.  That really was the only day I felt that kind of movement though, after that the bubbles turned in to more pulse type movements. As if there was a heartbeat in my tummy that randomly pulsated every now and then.

“Would you like to know the sex of the baby as I think I know what it is,” said the sonographer. We did. My feelings on this are, it’s going to be a big enough surprise when a baby comes out of my you know what, that I don’t need the extra surprise of finding out the sex. Plus, I could prepare better. Oh and if it was going to be a boy, I really needed to know as I’d need to get used to the idea…I’ve always felt like if I ever have a baby it will be a girl. I have a better idea of what to do with a girl…the games to play, the clothes to buy, the activities to take part in. If it’s a boy…I’m clueless. I mean, what do you do with a boy…say, “oh look – there’s a tractor,” and then plonk him in front of a football??!! Plus neither Shaun or I had a single name for a boy. My sister Sabrina was convinced it was a boy because of the shape of me. I thought it probably would end up being a boy simply because I couldn’t imagine having one.

I’d shared this thought with friends and many had told me boys are more loving and easier to deal with than girls. But my friend Hayley and her family felt that you need a girl to look after you later in life. They believe boys often tend to go their own way and aren’t as good at caring for their elderly or poorly parents, whereas girls are always there for their mums and dads and make sure they’re looked after.

“I’m pretty sure that’s a little girl you’ve got in there, said the sonographer.” I could barely believe it. I had almost convinced myself it would be a boy by now. I was so pleased…and relieved! Yay, I could go and buy cute baby dresses! Shaun was also really happy. The sonographer reiterated, “yep I’ll be pretty sad if I’ve got that wrong, definitely looks like a little girl.”

She gave us a whole load of photos of the baby as none had come out that brilliantly as the baby (GIRL!!!) was moving about so much. At one point during the scan, I said, “that’s not a baby…it’s a tortoise!” as the baby had got herself in a very strange position, probably half way through a roly poly. This was the sonographers favourite picture and she put it in a little framed Christmas card for us.

Baby or Tortoise??!!

In my next blog I'll tell you about some of the amazing pregnancy facts I've learnt and how people treat you differently.

Pregnancy Part 3

  My bump. Ignore the slippeers behind me, haha.

My first scan was on the 6th of November 2010. Shaun and I went along to our appointment at Oxford’s John Radcliffe Hospital and I felt nervous as I sat waiting. Not only would I finally see what, if anything, was in my tummy, but they were also going to test for Downs Syndrome. I felt like everything was okay but by this point I’d read up quite a bit on pregnancy and there are so many warnings about the things that can go wrong. Some friends, like 'me’ Julie' told me not to read anything but I guess my journalistic background which was born out of my natural sense of curiosity, got the better of me. Some books however were so steeped in negativity that I got annoyed with them and refused to read on. Others were preachy, some seemed biast towards home births and one even had pictures of happy looking babies when they showed home deliveries and crying babies in hospitals. But some books were friendly and just right. There are so many out there, I’m sure every mum – and dad-to-be can find one that suits them.

I’d read you need to drink loads of water before your scan but there was no mention of it in my letter from the hospital telling me when the appointment was and my midwife hadn’t said anything either. I drink a fair bit (of water!) anyway so I thought I’d be okay but while I was sat in the waiting room I started worrying especially as there was a water machine there so Shaun started filling cups for me and I downed a fair few. We were waiting for some time and Shaun and I started trying to suss out which appointment the other women were on. There was one really young girl who could still get in her skinny jeans on. I couldn’t believe she could be as far gone as me as by now I had a bit of a belly. I wondered if maybe she was having to have an early scan. It was nice to see her partner being loving towards her. Another rather large lady dressed in tracksuit bottoms had her partner and two boys with her. I was convinced this must be her second scan but then she mentioned something about it being the first time they’d see the baby. I couldn’t imagine how huge she was going to get! There was also a very well dressed, beautifully made up Indian lady who was by herself. She had a nice sized bump and I thought she must be having her second scan. I thought to myself that I wanted to look that well presented when I was that far gone. The rest of the room was made up of obese and dare I say chavy women. Sorry if that seems harsh but it was what I thought and Shaun also commented.

We were called into the scan room by a lady who wasn’t very friendly. She wasn’t mean, just rather clinical. I got up on the bed and my tummy was covered in that freezing cold, clear, jelly like stuff…somewhat like lubricant. The scan lady started moving a black boxy thing around on my tummy and I looked at Shaun who was looking away. I hadn’t even noticed the image of the baby on the screen until I followed Shaun’s eye line. And there it was as clear as day. Not like the old scan pictures that you couldn’t really work out. It was a perfect black and white moving image of a baby. I could even see its heart beating. Yep there really was a baby in my belly. I welled up but don’t like showing my emotions in public so kept the tears in. Shaun looked stunned and amazed. The same as how I felt, with a little relief, happiness and bewilderment thrown in for good measure.

I was told everything looked fine. Next up was a blood test for Downs Syndrome. I absolutely hate blood tests. I’m convinced it’s because when I was born, I was so little and had such bad jaundice, I had to have a full blood transfusion. That’s my excuse anyway! I looked away as the blood was taken, Shaun watched but I told him not to as it made it feel more like it was happening! And that was that. We were told we’d get the results in a week or so but within five (I think) if there was a problem. I did worry a bit over the coming days and it was constantly at the back of my brain and was relieved when a week had gone and I hadn’t heard anything.

It was lovely to be able to show my friends and family the scan picture, which you pay the John Radcliffe Hospital £5 for. It was so clear and I felt proud, lucky and relieved that I had a healthy baby on the way.

Now it was really real, Shaun and I got down to the business of discussing names. We instantly knew what we’d like for a girl. I had a name that I’d liked for years. I don’t want to reveal it just yet but the clue is, it’s a type of flower. Shaun also liked the name and had one he really liked too. I wasn’t convinced but thought it worked nicely with the first name and seeing as I’d selected the first, I agreed that his choice would be the baby’s middle name – if it was a girl. Again, I’m keeping it secret for now J

It wasn’t quite so simple when it came to a boys name. In fact it was impossible. We didn’t have a preferred choice in our heads so went through entire baby books, occasionally saying, ‘um what about xxx?” and the other shaking their head or the suggester shortly saying, “no, actually that’s just not right.” One of Shaun’s suggestions was Castielle. I mean really??!! This was down to it being the name of a character he likes in the TV series Supernatural. But can you really imagine shouting from the door, “time to come in now Castielle.” No. Not going to happen. I quite liked initial names like JC or AJ but a friend told me that’s, “sooooooooooo 80’s.” We were stuck – and still are.

In my next blog, I'll tell you what is was like the first time we heard the baby's heartbeat...and the scan that revealed the baby's sex!

Pregnancy Part 2

Next up – an appointment at the doctors to make absolutely sure I was indeed pregnant and wasn’t just a muppet at using pregnancy kits. However, that confirmation never came. I couldn’t believe it but my doctor said there was no need to double check – if the kit said I was pregnant, then I was – as simple as that. He told me the kits they use in the NHS aren’t as good as the Clear Blue ones (like I’d used) and that they never get a positive result wrong. Apparently, they may sometimes say you’re not pregnant when you are but they never say you are, if you’re not. What was even more surprising was that I’d have to wait another 10 weeks before I’d have my first midwife appointment and they’d do any tests. I just couldn’t believe it. Everything in my body told me I was pregnant but I didn’t feel I could 100% believe it until a professional had confirmed it.

I barely told anyone I was expecting at this stage – what about the risks?...what if I really had got it wrong? The only people who knew were my family and a few really close friends (like Nicky…she was disappointed I didn’t mention her in my first blog - so hope you’re happy now madam, haha). Another friend Hayley, had already guessed because I’d been moaning about how tender my boobs were. It was hilarious when I told another friend, also called Hayley, as she shrieked in the hotel restaurant we were sat in. She seemed so happy that I had to dig deep to access all my male hormones to hold back the tears, haha.

It’s funny how many people insist they know the sex of the baby you’re having. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard, you’re definitely having a girl/boy…I can tell from the shape of your tummy and I’ve never got it wrong.” My sister Sabrina insisted I was going to have a boy. My friend Hayley held a piece of cotton with one of my rings over my tummy and it went in circles apparently indicating I’m having a boy. Here’s a link to some more gender predicting old wives tales:

http://www.babiesonline.com/articles/pregnancy/genderoldwivestales.asp

My next appointment with the midwife came round quickly enough and I was excited. I remember sitting in the waiting room at St Bartholomews Medical Centre in Cowley with Shaun and us making huge image based judgements on different midwives as they popped out their rooms. Me to Shaun, ‘oh no please don’t let us get that one…she looks like a right old matron!” I was delighted when a much ‘friendlier’ looking midwife called my name and Shaun and I gave one another a look of relief. I thought I was also going to have a scan at this check up – another thing I’d got wrong. The midwife did all the normal checks like blood and urine tests. I was yet more relieved when she didn’t come back saying anything like, “er I think maybe you just have a bit of water retention.” Talking through pregnancy stuff with her made me feel more pregnant even if I still didn’t have that 100% proof. But it was on its way as she said my first scan would be in the next couple of weeks. And indeed it was. In the meantime, I had a maternity folder and bounty pack (including a some what random but none the less appreciated Appletiser voucher) to keep me occupied.

In my next blog I’ll show you the picture from my first scan and tell you the names Shaun wanted but I vetoed. Oh and was my sister Sabrina right that I’m having a boy?...

Pregnancy Part 1

I finally made my pregnancy public last night – through Facebook, of course. My family and friends have known for some time but I wanted to keep it quiet for two reasons…At 36, I’m considered an ‘older’ mum (tut, haha) and as a result you get lots of warnings about risks. It’s surprising how many of my friends didn’t know you are born with all your eggs and as you get older, so do they – so they deteriorate. Men meanwhile keep producing fresh spermies.

The other reason is I’ve been job hunting after being made redundant by Heart. Luckily I got a reasonable payout and have done odd bits of work which has all kept me going financially. It’s been weird not waking up and going to work every morning as I’ve had a job since I was 14, even if it was just a paper round. I feel a little lost some days. While some people, I’m sure would appreciate greatly not having to work for a while, especially while pregnant, it’s often left me feeling stressed, under pressure and inadequate. I did consider going abroad for a long holiday but decided against as I was sure I’d feel like I was wasting time and not focussing on what was really important, i.e. getting a job.

Anyway, one morning, I woke up and was pretty sure I was pregnant. My period was late, my boobs were mega sore and I felt a way I never had before physically…slightly dizzy, faint and a bit out of it. I went for a family picnic that day and said to my mum and sisters, “don’t get too excited but I think I may be pregnant.” I knew they’d be over the moon if I was right. Mum’s wanted me to have a baby for years. Victoria (nickname Moley) who has a one year old, immediately started talking about going through baby clothes. I was a little concerned what it would be like if I was mistaken about my ‘condition’ but was confident enough I was right to share my thoughts and besides, I needed them to know I wasn’t feeling too good.

Moley was desperate for me to do a pregnancy test but I wanted to wait a little longer. I had a massive weekend ahead…my partner Shaun was about to meet his birth Dad having not seen him since he was 8. Shaun’s now 32. Plus I was starting a new radio show, all by myself (another first) on Banbury Sound on Sunday. I thought it would be too much to try and digest confirmation I was pregnant with all that ahead so decided to wait till Sunday night.

Sunday night came and I was absolutely exhausted. But I’d been waiting all week to do the pregnancy test so was determined to get it done. Shaun and I went to a chemist in St Clements, Oxford and he popped in to buy the kit while I waited in the car. We went back home and I did the test straight away. I was in a really bad mood though because I was so tired. Now, I didn’t realise this but a pregnancy test involves weeing on a small stick. Can’t say wee direction is my strong point as I’m sure it isn’t for most women - but I thought I’d hit the target enough. Clearly not. The result wasn’t clear and it looked more like I wasn’t pregnant than was. Then another reading on the stick showed the test hadn’t worked, and then the test showed I was pregnant. I just didn’t know. Although I had a second test ready to go, I felt exhausted and like I’d been on an emotional roller coaster. I think I may have been a little disappointed too. I was taking it all out on Shaun and that was not the way I wanted things to be if I was to find out I was pregnant. I decided I’d leave the second test till the next day. We argued a bit more and then both fell asleep in a huff.

The following morning, Shaun went off to work as usual and things were fine between us – we both knew the arguing was just as a result of being knackered. Before I was able to do the second test, I needed everything to be in order. I tidied and cleaned the house. This may sound odd but I needed everything to feel sorted if I was to find out I was pregnant as it was going to be such a huge thing to take on board…Does that make sense?

So followed the second test and this time I weed into a small container so I could dip the stick…much more practical. (Note to housemates – yes I did throw out the container…it didn’t end up back in the cupboard!)

This time there was no doubt, it immediately showed I was pregnant. The cross (that confirms you’re pregnant) came up straight away. I think I felt relieved and happy although slightly worried as I wasn’t in the best financial situation. I called Shaun and asked, “Do you want me to tell you over the phone or would you rather wait till you come home after work?” He said he’d prefer to find out it person. The only thing was I was off to see my Mum and sisters again that afternoon and knew I’d just have to tell them. I explained this to him, which kind of gave it away and he said, “Right I’m coming home now.”

He was back within half an hour; luckily he was working locally that day. We sat on the bed and I simply said, “It’s positive.” I think his response was something like, “riiiight.” I’m not sure either of us knew exactly how we felt. Certainly pleased deep down – in a, ‘this is what we both eventually want, i.e. a family’ way. But at the same time, I’d just been made redundant and it was only a few months ago we split up for a month (because he was being annoying!)

The one thing I was sure of…it was meant to be. We hadn’t been trying for a baby. We had been using the withdrawal method which clearly isn’t fool proof but we had been for years and I’d never fallen pregnant. I’m convinced that while I was a News Editor and Breakfast Presenter, my body simply couldn’t cope with a pregnancy as well. The news job was often stressful and while the presenting job was a dream role, getting up at 4am was really hard and I’m sure, a strain on my body. I’ve worked out that I must have fallen pregnant just a month or so after leaving Heart. It’s like my body thought, “Wahoo, I can finally make a baby,” or perhaps the baby thought, “that’s it, I’ve waited long enough, I’m on my way.” :-)

In my next blog I'll talk about my first scan, baby names and some of the really weird pregnancy and mum-to-be thoughts I have x